i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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