Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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