Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
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I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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