Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
