Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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