Do you still have your period?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
