So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
