as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her