It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
false alarm, still single
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