apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Who died my cat blue again?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
