i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
