it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
