we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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