If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
