I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
