So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
