tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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