So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
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I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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