He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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