the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
