Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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