he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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