Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
