Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
