I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
