Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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