so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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