I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize