Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
