I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I would fuck him just for his dog
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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