It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
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Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
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And then my night got REAL pukey
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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