a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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