Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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