I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
