I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
