I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize