i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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