There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
