ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My breasts were aching with rage.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
