YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
