just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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