No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
