Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize