drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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