So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
