Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
