Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.

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  (360): Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news. http://tfl.nu/qxqs
  Replies (10) Good night (662) Bad night (1763)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts

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  (508): Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts http://tfl.nu/tjd5
  Replies (15) Good night (3900) Bad night (1127)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left

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  (330): I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left http://tfl.nu/kqqk
  Replies (26) Good night (5257) Bad night (1806)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.

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  (609): my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway. http://tfl.nu/j8p7
  Replies (28) Good night (1434) Bad night (9805)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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  (732): you tipped EVERY employee at white castle http://tfl.nu/d5zv
  Replies (15) Good night (6375) Bad night (1010)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.

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  (248): Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it. http://tfl.nu/bw3w
  Replies (9) Good night (3641) Bad night (1325)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.

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  (773): At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect. http://tfl.nu/fdmy
  Replies (7) Good night (3246) Bad night (1042)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in

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  (414): got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in http://tfl.nu/o0j8
  Replies (5) Good night (1815) Bad night (696)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.

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  (519): Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene. http://tfl.nu/c9bu
  Replies (5) Good night (1288) Bad night (916)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!

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  (403): And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH! http://tfl.nu/fcac
  Replies (4) Good night (2168) Bad night (515)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?

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  (+44): you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home? http://tfl.nu/3r4f
  Replies (6) Good night (1363) Bad night (437)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar

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  (817): i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar http://tfl.nu/a2fz
  Replies (1) Good night (723) Bad night (308)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?

  (1-343): View more from Ontario

  Lol, last year was UNREAL

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  (343): Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy? (1-343): Lol, last year was UNREAL http://tfl.nu/u4kx
  Replies (10) Good night (1326) Bad night (340)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You are both horrible and amazing

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  (602): I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep. (480): You are both horrible and amazing http://tfl.nu/a2mg
  Replies (0) Good night (787) Bad night (332)
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  (619): View more from California

  my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.

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  (619): my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder. http://tfl.nu/2kgi
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (314)

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