I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
