Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
