ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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