if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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