I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize