It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
