she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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