You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
