First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
