is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
