Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize