My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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