we have pet lesbian snakes
P.S. I can't hear my feet
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
